Oct. 20th, 2013

fierynotes: Picture of Hotstreak, from the cartoon Static Shock.  He looks annoyed. (annoyed)
Okay, kids, let's gather 'round the campfire. I'm going to tell you a spooooooky story.

Once upon this time, there were these two camp counselors, named Ace and Gary. They were both full of football, red meat, and passion for their wives, and they loved the little tykes in their care. Anyway, they were at summer camp with a bunch of kids, about to dress up for Halloween...

What? No one trick or treats in the summer? Um. This is in the little town of Gravity Falls, so it's actually Summerween. But they still dress up and collect candy, so my point stands. (Whew.)

Anyway, the little kids were all dressed up as cute, adorable little vampires, ghosts, frankenstein monsters, and whatnot. Gary was dressed up as a seventies cop -- Ponch or Jon, I forget which -- and was just putting on the finishing touch: a seventies wig.

But! Little did he know that the seventies wig he put on was CURSED! Strange unfamiliar desires came over him, and before he knew it, he was undoing Ace's pants with his teeth and sucking his dick! Aaaaaaaaaah!

(This spoooooooky story was brought to you by an overactive imagination, an unhealthy dose of sarcasm, and exposure to this unlikely artifact.)

Item #: SCP-1069

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1069 is currently stored at Warehouse [redacted], with appropriate warnings of its effects. No further containment is necessary.

Description: SCP-1069 is a wig mimicking a common men's hairstyle in the seventies. Its only anomalous feature is creating strong homosexual desires in adult men who try it on. In other tests (see Log 1069-217-███), it creates compulsive fear of catching cooties from same-sex peers in underage tests subjects. No further testing is authorized.

Dear Amazon,

A gay wig? Really?

[personal profile] fierynotes
fierynotes: Picture of Destruction, from the Sandman series, reading a book and slinging a guitar. (Default)
You know you've been on the net too long when when you see a video like this (NSFW!) and guess from the title that it's going to be a completely G-rated clip involving live poultry.


fierynotes: Picture of Destruction, from the Sandman series, reading a book and slinging a guitar. (Default)


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