fierynotes: Picture of Destruction, from the Sandman series, reading a book and slinging a guitar. (Default)
This is my front page. If you want me to add you, drop me a line here. Or, add me. Either way, I'll check you out. You can also drop me a line here if, for instance, you don't have my email address. All comments here are screened.

This post also includes every tag I have -- this is because my current LJ style doesn't include a tag index. (At least half of my participation on LJ is on my phone. I chose this style because, as bare-bones as it is, it loads quickly and it's still readable on a small screen.)

I'd tell you more about myself, but that's what my profile -- and the rest of my LJ -- is for.
fierynotes: Picture of Tarvek, from Girl Genius, facepalming. (facepalm)
I will not write slashfic starring Melissa McEwan and Paul Elam.
I will not write slashfic starring Melissa McEwan and Paul Elam.
I will not write slashfic starring Melissa McEwan and Paul Elam.

(Sits on hands.)

...I will not write slashfic starring Melissa McEwan and Paul Elam.
I will not write slashfic starring Melissa McEwan and Paul Elam.
I will not write slashfic starring Melissa McEwan and Paul Elam.
I will not write slashfic starring Melissa McEwan and Paul Elam.
I will not write slashfic starring Melissa McEwan and Paul Elam.
I will not write slashfic starring Melissa McEwan and Paul Elam.
I will not write slashfic starring Melissa McEwan and Paul Elam.

(Twitches nervously.)

Dammit, I don't have time to write it. I mean, yes, I could easily the dirty talk between them, as they try to one-up each other in how much "donation" money they can get from their suckers. Paul would brag about getting money from some guy on unemployment, Lis would brag about getting money from someone who's down to $5 of child support money...

No.

I will not write slashfic starring Melissa McEwan and Paul Elam.
I will not write slashfic starring Melissa McEwan and Paul Elam.
I will not write slashfic starring Melissa McEwan and Paul Elam.
I will not write slashfic starring Melissa McEwan and Paul Elam.
I will not write slashfic...
fierynotes: Picture of a B diminished 7th chord (B, D, F, A flat) followed by an inversion, in flames. (Bdim7)
So, one Virgo Rouge just dropped a bunch of comments on my head. They were all right here, but it seems she deleted them by mistake. How sad, that no one will see her brilliant defense against my jeers! Fortunately I'm a good sport and I figure she deserves a chance to be heard by anyone who might have seen me say rude things about her.

Of course, I have rebuttals.

Subject: No such proof of what you are saying

Marissa Marchant is a teenager..go look at her photos
You have the wrong person. I am Virgo Rouge.

Go google her name.
There is also a Marchant Manfield.

I am Marissa Elienne.

You have not done your research.


Marissa Marchant may well have been a teenager... in 2003. It's been over ten years.

Subject: Music is about music, enjoyment, not talking, or comparing yourself to others.
You are a liar. Focus on the music everyone. Healthy people focus on music only, jealous people talk about trivia, gossip and make up stories.

Just focus on my art.

Don't think about whether it is better or worse, just enjoy.

I enjoy music, I don't compare myself to others.
All of your quotes are false.

I am better than most commercial music today, but that is not saying much.

I am not better than a lot of unfamous people or lesser known musicians who are excellent.

I am better in my mind, but you don't to agree. Just listen to whatever you enjoy and I don't care that you prefer their music to mine.

I enjoy hearing my own music rather than listening to them.
I think that I am better than a lot of people out there who are making millions.

Better as a musician, because I enjoy hearing my music over their music.

I also enjoy hearing other musicians over their music as well.

You don't have to like my music. I truly don't care. Turn the dial.

Give me a 1000 dollars for a CD everyone. I need donations so I can continue what I do.

The 1000 dollars is for donations since I am unsigned.

Also, give some donations to other artists that you enjoy.

Fund your local musician, especially if you like them.


Y'know, if you're claiming not to have been a lolcow that demanded $1000 for a CD, it doesn't help your case if you're saying things like "Give me 1000 dollars for a CD everyone." Even with context. Likewise, if you're claiming you don't compare yourself to others, and then saying "I'm better than all these others."

Subject: I am better than Justin Beiber and Selena Gomez for sure

Grow up teeny tweeny lover. I am better than Taylor Swift as a musician and Justin Beiber. Someday when you mature, you will agree.


Madam, you owe my cat an apology. Here he was, sitting on my lap, utterly content and buzzing up a storm. Or at least, he was until you called me a teeny tweeny lover, and I started laughing so hard he got scared and left. Considering how loud I'm laughing and that it's currently six in the morning, you may owe my neighbors apologies as well.

As for my maturity? I'm forty! I am so far away from Taylor Swift's target demographic that if it exploded, I wouldn't hear the boom for several hours. There's only one reason I could possibly be interested in Taylor Swift... and that'll never happen, because I'm not famous. Even if I were, I prefer women closer to my own age, and I don't want to deal with an immature drama queen who'll drive me away and then write a song about what I jerk I was.

Subject: I never talk about the music industry.

That is why I never talk about the music industry. You are the only one who keeps mentioning them. I have all kinds of videos of me speak about the music industry seriously. I only have a comedy video about it. All of this is COMEDY. You don't believe the things that I say as true do you? I have been writing comedy for years.

Most of the time I am just kidding around....99 percent of the time, I am JOKING...

You sound like you have no sense of humor...I think it is all funny!!!!!!!!!!!


I do have a sense of humor, though it's admittedly a bit warped. Believe me, amusement is the only reason I've paid you a second glance, let alone bothered to write about you. I actually think you're hilarious. Admittedly, I'm not sure whether it's intentional. If you're actually trying to be funny, I applaud your wit and your dedication, since you've kept this act up for over ten years.
fierynotes: Picture of Hotstreak, from the cartoon Static Shock.  He looks annoyed. (annoyed)
As seen elsewhere on my friendslist: "It's Too Damn Big." Note that I'm not suggesting you watch this, and in fact I could only manage about forty seconds myself (and half of that on mute). Sadly, not all gay musicians are Tchaikovsky or Michael Tilson Thomas, or even Rob Halford or Pansy Division -- some of them are annoying synth-pounding twits. (To be fair, though, not all straight musicians are Mozart, either.) But the real irritation is one Jonah Falcon, a man who has in his favor a very large penis, a certain level of media clout... and absolutely nothing else. This music video is apparently the latest step in his quest to make sure the whole world knows he's packing over a foot.

This is hardly new territory. There are lots of really bad songs where the guy is bragging about his dick, so I shouldn't be surprised that Falcon went there. It was inevitable, I suppose. This is, after all, the guy who decided in July of last year to call Huffington Post and say "my penis was so big it got me frisked by Homeland Security." And Huffington Post, for some reason, considered that a news story.

Gods help us if he wins the lottery. He'd take over hundreds of billboards. Hell, he'd run radio spots. "I'm Jonah Falcon, I have a gigantic penis, and I approve this message." No, really, that's the whole message.

Ah, well, it could be worse. He could read Heinlein's The Man Who Sold the Moon, and decide that instead of spraying the surface of the moon with graphite powder in the shape of a soft drink logo, he could graffiti the moon to tell the world how big his dick is.

Hell, if he ever gets access to a TARDIS and a Red Dwarf novel, he might decide to go back in time and supernova a whole bunch of stars, making it so that everyone who sees the night sky sees the words "Jonah Falcon is hung like a donkey" spelled out in exploded stars. He'd obviously have to steal the TARDIS, as he's not really interesting enough for the Doctor to choose him as a companion, and the Doctor would never let him blow up a few dozen (possibly-inhabited) suns.

Not that I have anything against big dicks. Hell, I have one,¹ though I'm not in Falcon's league.² But guys, however big your gear is, chances are there's at least one plastic toy bigger than you, so it behooves you to be more interesting than the plastic.

(If I ever meet Jonah Falcon and conclude that he's actually interesting, I reserve the right to retract some or all of my statements about him. For what it's worth, though, I've seen him in certain spaces for online discussions, and he's struck me as a guy who plays the "I have a huge dick card" every chance he gets, because it's the only card he has. It's a perverse twist on how if the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.)



    1. Unless I'm lying. This is the internet, after all.³

    2. If I'm lying, I've obviously learned to keep my lies credible.

    3. Okay, this running joke has been fun, but I should probably give it a rest.

fierynotes: Picture of a B diminished 7th chord (B, D, F, A flat) followed by an inversion, in flames. (Bdim7)
I haven't listened to Slayer in several years, but I was still sad that Jeff Hanneman died four days ago. Then, I discovered that the Westboro Baptist Church are intending to picket his funeral, and I was suddenly amused.

Yeah. A small pack of lawyers trying to piss off a large mob of metalheads.

This'll end well.
fierynotes: Picture of a black sockpuppet. (footsie)
Years ago, in about 2003 if the internet wayback machine is to be believed, there was a singer called Marissa Marchant. Her grasp of pitch was occasionally tenuous, her breathing was (despite her boasts) neither bel nor canto, her emotional range went from A to B, her instrumentation was stuff a first-year student could do... but she was the stuff of greatness. Just read her website, it'll tell you! The world is full of sellouts, and she alone was producing real Art, and she'd be happy to share it with you if you're a discerning lover of Music. Oh, and she was charging $1000 per CD. Yes, you read that right: THOUSAND.

Eventually, the internet forgot about her. Aside from the delusions of grandeur, delusions of competence, and delusions about a CD's basic worth, there wasn't all that much memorable about her. And let's face it, there's no shortage of lolcows on the internet to distract us all from any one thing.

Lately, on the forum Why God Why, Mr.Doobie (one of the resident music nerds) kept seeing a certain refrain popping up all over the place in YouTube comments. I haven't seen them myself because one, I don't read youTube comments, and two, these particular comments tend to get marked as spam really quickly. But to quote him quoting the wanking gibbon:

"I'm a better musician. I'm a vocalist, multi-instrumentatlist, composer, who is self-taught but I had 20 yrs of training. I trained at Curtis, rating higher than Julliard in the US. It's the premiere music school in the US I taught myself many things but I know it takes years of extreme hard work, training and CREATIVITY to be excellent at music. The commercial world is so out of it. They don't think it takes extensive training. It takes self-education´╗┐ and extensive training." -- Virgorouge, times a few thousand.

I punched up one of her videos (Warning: kinda awful), and a flood of memories came back to me. So I commented to this effect... but not before VIRGOROUGE herself showed up! We're all interrogating her music from the wrong perspective! We're all stuck in the past as far as music goes! We only listen to mainstream and commercial music! (I confess. I only listen to mainstream music. I'm surprised to discover, though, that Penderecki, Fleshgod Apocalypse, Richard Shindell, Azam Ali, and Wumpscut are mainstream!)

I'm almost afraid that this person is a troll. I hope she isn't. If she's a troll, she's brilliant, but if she's for real, this could be the most fun person to poke at since I first heard of Chancery Stone! Marissa Marchant is dead! Long live Virgorouge!
fierynotes: Picture of a black sockpuppet. (footsie)
This is [livejournal.com profile] pester spending some quality time with one of her kids.



(Well, obviously not. But given how much time [livejournal.com profile] pester had to keep up on the various childfree comms while still doing the hardest job in the world, I imagine that her spending quality time with one of her kids looks just like this. She's still not back on LJ, as far as I know. I wonder what she's doing these days...!)
fierynotes: Picture of Discord. (discord)
Certain passwords and PINs are very predictable, depending on the person. Myself, I have to exercise some restraint to refrain from using 3141, 2718, or 1618 as PINs -- sure, they're easy to remember, but anyone who knows I was a math nerd in High School can guess these. In vaguely related news, I'd guess that one of the WBC douchewhistles has just lately learned that "godhatesfags" is too easy a password to guess. It seems that @DearShirley isn't feeling herself at the moment...

(I've gone back through the twitter feed in question to about December 1. It appears that up until lately, this really was a WBC twitter feed. Or, to put it another way, it looks like this is a personal prank on Shirley Phelps, as opposed to a media prank on all of us. Anyway, Anonymous has declared war on them, which will no doubt be very fun to watch.)

So far, the prankster who did this doesn't appear to have done much with the feed after having successfully stolen it. Personally, if I'd done this hack, I would be scouring the internet for pictures of ladies kissing other ladies and dudes kissing other dudes to tweetpic, and I'm sure that the internet would eagerly supply them and has only been waiting for the day I'd ask for those kinds of photos. And videos. And more videos.
fierynotes: Picture of Discord. (discord)
The webcomic Questionable Content is now three days into a story arc where a supporting character who's been in the strip for a while now has just confided in one one of the main characters that she's trans.

The author has made it clear he's wanted to do this for a while, has done his homework, and intends to do it right. I'm still fully expecting SJ wankers to dogpile him. At some point, he'll make some minor error, and omfg transphobe, die cis scum, you're worse than Hitler, die in a fire step on a lego, one one one eleventy-one. Even if he doesn't make an error, omfg tokenism, speaking as a cis person about transpeople silences real transpeople...

I'm awarding myself bonus drinks for advanced precognition if Ms. Are-You-Trans decides to stick her oar in. Not that I think Kynn should be taken seriously on any social justice issue ever -- I absolutely don't -- but I expect she'll try anyway.
fierynotes: Picture of Destruction, from the Sandman series, reading a book and slinging a guitar. (Default)
I was slow to get into Tumblr, partly because I enjoy discussion and Tumblr is a poor forum for it, but also because I had the impression that the SJ assholes had infested the place to a degree that they could only dream of on LJ or Dreamwidth. Still, there are a few I follow.

Mansplaining Paul Ryan -- a meme that takes the piss out of our favorite sociopath looking to become Vice President. My favorite ones are "Atlas scrubbed," "Doing dishes is women's work unless there's a camera crew involved," and "I volunteer at soup kitchens -- images available upon request."

Fuck Yeah Retail Robin -- anyone who's worked in retail has mad some of the complaints that get voiced here. Granted, some of them are from robins who are complete idiots (and I say this as a robin myself), but a lot of them are good. There are a number of similar ones like Hospitality Hamster (for hotel employees), Receptionist Rabbit, Cow-orker Complaints, and in the opposite direction, Customer Cockatoo. All fun, but it seems that Retail Robin is the only one that updates regularly.

Fuck Yeah Social Justice Sally -- quotes from alleged social justice fans who are far more interested in bullying people than they are in social justice. If the internet's various winterfoxes have made it so you cringe at the sight of the words "social justice," you'll have seen some of the quotes in this tumblr. If you care about social justice for real, you should still look, if only to be aware of the huge PR problem social justice is having right now.

Small Dick Lover (NSFW) -- my first response when I saw the images in this blog was pity. And yet... every man pictured here was very much okay with his picture being taken. Every man here is at peace with himself, and possesses his own body, to a degree that I have to envy -- especially since I should have a much easier time with that degree of self-possession and still can't manage it. There's a lesson I need to learn from this. I'm working on that. I don't read this blog regularly, but I'm glad that it exists.

Sex Is Not The Enemy (NSFW) -- I've posted this one before: a blog with pornographic shots in which all parties involved are clearly having a blast. All porn ought to be like this.

What Should We Call Opera -- some streams should never cross... for instance, funny animated gifs and opera references. Some divine lunatic crossed those streams anyway, and the result is magic. Some knowledge of opera is helpful, but often the jokes are explained, for instance, how Berlioz is god-awful-expensive to stage.

Depression Comix -- by the same guy who did Sexy Losers. If you suffer from depression, you may find this comic helpful... or triggering. Or both, sometimes at the same time. It's on my list because I occasionally get like this, and this comic helps me attach words to feelings I'm not always so good at explaining.

I'm no doubt missing out on many more -- for instance, I know of at least two friends of mine with tumblrs, and I don't remember what they are. You must shame me for my ignorance and post them in the comments!
fierynotes: Picture of Hotstreak, from the cartoon Static Shock.  He looks annoyed. (annoyed)
Over on JournalFen, the annoying twit PewDiePie has just come up for discussion. It seems a few people have made funny out of this unfunny asshat by creating a group reaction video of him. For those of you who need trigger warnings: suicide (as a coping mechanism against PewDiePie), drug and alcohol abuse (also as a coping mechanism against PewDiePie), and PewDiePie flinging the word "rape" around like rice at one of Reverend Moon's mass weddings.



The discussion is here, but the video I embedded above is the funny stuff.

Dammit!

Aug. 29th, 2012 09:41 am
fierynotes: Picture of Tarvek, from Girl Genius, facepalming. (facepalm)
August 25, for those of you unfamiliar, is Nickolaus Pacione day. And I missed it!

Nickolaus Pacione, or Nicky the Wondergoth as he's also known, is a really awful horror writer. He's also a nasty individual, with virulent homophobia being just one of his awful qualities. Anyway, for those of us who are fond of unnecessary holidays like Talk Like a Pirate Day, August 25 was dedicated to him.

Unfortunately, the Livejournal entry in which this holoiday was first conceived is now locked, and I don't remember how we're supposed to observe this holiday. My first guess is that I should swear a lot, and every sixth word out of my mouth should be "fag." My second guess is that I should call up a couple of, ahem, very close male friends and do things with them that would get Nicky-boy to call me "fag." I think the theory for this latter idea is that enough gay sex happens, Nicky-boy's head will explode à la Scanners.

In either case, however I should have observed that holiday, I missed it. Oh, well. Maybe next year.
fierynotes: Picture of Hotstreak, from the cartoon Static Shock.  He looks annoyed. (annoyed)
Well, not really. Apparently, Craigslist is considering taking down the post in question, so this may only work as a short-term announcement... but the internet preserves everything. It's like formaldehyde that way.

Short version: guy takes over three thousand wards to explain how he gets married to Ms. Jeckyl and finds Ms. Hyde in his honeymoon suite. Ms. Hyde doesn't feel like putting out, ever, so he bangs a foreign girl during the honeymoon (followed eventually by banging 29 more women over the course of a three-year-marriage), and justifies himself as following his own biological needs, which of course must be met, inside of marriage or not. Meanwhile, Ms. Hyde sits around the house, does no housework, gest fat (oh noes!), and spends all his money. So this poor bastard is getting a divorce, and posting on Craigslist as a warning to all those dumb bitches out there that he's a hot mess they need to put out for their man or else he'll stray, because it's not like they have anything else to offer him in a relationship. Seriously, it's like the show Married With Children, except there's no children and in this latter it's the wife (instead of the husband) who never wants sex.

Wow. With all that contempt for women as a whole in that letter, I need to ask -- have you considered fucking dudes instead? No, forget I said that -- gay men have enough problems in this culture without including jerks like you in their ranks.

Now, assuming that there's a grain of truth here and there in this open letter, the lady seems to be as much of an asshole as the gentleman... but there are hints that this isn't the case. "You grudgingly gave it up once a week for a while. Still, you had become rather critical. You called it 'coaching me,' or 'teaching you what I like'." Sure, this could be a critical sex-hating ball-busting harpy... but couldn't this also be the lady saying something like "slow down, it doesn't feel good being jackhammered" or "gimme a week to recover from the last time you ignored me when I said I didn't like being jackhammered"?

But then, all the women I've had have actually enjoyed sex with me... even if the rest of the relationship was crap. Clearly my privilege is showing.

I have a couple of theories about this guy. One of them starts with the idea that we create our own misery, and he subconsciously chose the most horrible woman he could find, because he wants to be proven right about how horrible women are more than he wants to be happy. Therefore, he's telling the truth about this particular woman, and in doing so he's bragging about how he succeeded in proving himself right. If this is the case, he should never marry again.

My other theory is that he's the awful person, and she put up with him the best she could, becoming a bit more assertive when they said "I do" because she'd committed to the guy and wanted him to be less of a shlub. Perhaps she stopped doing dishes to see how long it would take for him to rinse a damn plate, for instance. If this is the case, he should never marry again. (For now, I'll skip the speculation into why she'd marry him in the first place. Perhaps she'll post her own letter about him on Craigslist later. I'll attempt it then.)
fierynotes: Picture of Arsenal, from DC comics, who clearly sees something he likes. (leers)
Have you heard of Laci Green yet? Probably¹. Me, I just discovered her, and she's awesome. She espouses this radical belief that sex and bodies and all of that stuff are just plain awesome. She has 143 videos, so if you find you like her, you could easily kill a whole afternoon with her, but she addresses a wide variety of topics, from fat² to race to virginity to... well, lots more. She's very good.

Have you heard of Colby Keller yet? Perhaps not. Me, I just discovered him, and he's awesome... though since he does gay porn, his focus is considerably narrower than Laci Green's. He gives useful and practical advice on orgies, size issues, and getting into porn (and just as importantly, being clear on your reasons for wanting to be in porn, and coping with the rest of the world when it discovers you're in porn).



    1. Once upon a time, when she was still in her teens, Laci Green used the word "tranny," unaware of its impact on transpeople. When made aware of it, she apologized and banished it from her lexicon. Then, she got Winterfoxed³. She's currently stepped away from tumblr, because some worthless piece of shit who no doubt identifies as an SJW thinks that while the word "tranny" is an unforgivable slur, death threats are just peachy and the word "cunt" is just fine as long as the word "transphobic" appears in front of it. If you are one of these people, I hope you step on a lego, trip over said lego, and land face-first in a fire. And by the way, go die in a fire.

    2. Laci Green has spoken out against fatphobia, but she has apparently also discussed her own issues with controlling her weight. According to some, this would make her both fatphobic and a hypocrite. Considering that I think judging people for being fat is wrong (and I'm occasionally very vocal about this), but I also put some effort into keeping my own body fat low, you can probably guess that I'm not exactly sympathetic to people who would make either of these claims about her.

    3. 1. Winterfox, v, to use the umbrella of social justice as license to be a fuming asshole, frequently using the whole premise of "tone argument" to justify no end of abusive behavior. 2. Winterfox, n, a person who frequently engages in Winterfoxing. While some Winterfoxes are solitary predators, many Winterfoxes are pack animals.

fierynotes: Picture of Hotstreak, from the cartoon Static Shock.  He looks annoyed. (annoyed)
Dear Purveyors of Insipid Piss-Water on TV,

One: any given big company -- for instance, one that sells insipid piss-water -- does not get to decide whether I'm a man or not, and I will not buy anything made by any company that thinks differently. Especially if their product is insipid piss-water.

Two: my male friends, much as I love them, do not get to decide whether I'm a man or not. If any of my male friends take it into their head that they get to decide whether I'm a man or not, I won't try to appease them -- I'll get better male friends.

Three: my female friends, much as I love them, likewise do not get to decide whether I'm a man or not. Years ago, I may have made an exception for them and offered to demonstrate my manhood for them privately... but these days, I feel less compelled to prove shit like that, and as with male friends above, I'll simply find better friends.

Four: can you really not think of any reason that two or more men might want to go to the bathroom together? Granted, it's been years since I invited a male friend to join me in the bathroom, but back when I was doing meth, I did it regularly. After all, one doesn't say "hey, I'm chopping a line, who wants one?" in public unless one wants to know what the inside of a police car looks like.

Five: did I mention your ad campaign sucks, your product sucks, and I won't ever buy anything from you?

Sincerely,
[personal profile] fierynotes
fierynotes: Picture of Hotstreak, from the cartoon Static Shock.  He looks annoyed. (annoyed)
The word "dogpile" is now problematic.

Here, [livejournal.com profile] rose_lemberg. I'm posting this just for you. You may not have enough spoons to comment -- how you managed three paragraphs despite a total lack of spoons is beyond me -- but it doesn't take any spoons at all to watch a clip from an old classic cartoon.



(No doubt this video would be considered triggering in some circles.)

(Link stolen from ffa, with signposts by [personal profile] ms_daisy_cutter.)
fierynotes: Picture of Hotstreak, from the cartoon Static Shock.  He looks annoyed. (annoyed)
Against my own better judgment, I just finished reading a certain Eric James Stone story that's been making the rounds.

Firstly, one of the basic rules of writing science fiction is Know Your Science. If you don't know your science, either get outside help or do your research. Octavia Butler dealt with social issues a lot, but as a black and possibly queer woman, she had a grasp on these issues that many other writers do not. A lot of Philip K Dick's work involves mind-twisting drugs, and... well, let's just say he knew that subject very well. Robert Heinlein wrote of having to solve equations on rolls of butcher paper for things like travel times between planets, and his wife (who was smarter than him in many fields, including math) frequently helped him. Spider Robinson wrote a story with similar equations (but nastier, because Lorentz contraction got involved), and when he couldn't crack the numbers, he consulted a friend who, if I remember right, works at JPL. Samuel Delany wrote a story once about a language developed as a weapon in war, that would convert everyone who learned it, and you'd better believe he knew his subject -- he is, among other things, a language professor.

A moment's research would have told anyone that even if a ginormous plasmic being living inside a star is casually referred to as a solar whale, the term solcetacean does not work. "Cetacean" is a scientific classification that couldn't possibly apply here. "Solcetacean" is a bit of Latin and Greek gobbledygook that's clearly intended to make the writer look more clever than he is. And if that weren't merely the smallest thing wrong with this story, I'd perhaps let it go. (After all, I don't like the mix of Latin and Greek in the word "hemovore," -- it ought to be "hemophage" or "sanguivore" -- but I can still enjoy Doctor Who, right?)

As it is, this story is a really painfully bland wish-fulfillment tale in which a single human Mormon preacher successfully gains a concession for Mormons from a being thousands of years older than humanity. Yeah. Convincing a ancient being of the basic rightness of a belief system created by humans less than two hundred years ago. Let the arrogance of that idea sink in a moment.

It's not that I believe theology has no place in science fiction. I assure you, in competent hands, there is a place for it. But these are not competent hands.

Unbelievably, this story won the Nebula for Best Novelette. My current theory to explain this is that many of the nebula voters were at a really wild party at a convention, and Eric James Stone has the negatives. I suspect farm animals were involved.
fierynotes: Picture of Destruction, from the Sandman series, reading a book and slinging a guitar. (creative)
Dear Jerome Corsi,

I hear you have a new book coming out in a few weeks. In light of your history as a lying, shit-stirring, swift-boating douchebag scumbag assbag, I'd like to take this opportunity to say, to both you and your book sales...

Suck it! Suck it long and hard!

Sincerely,
Barack Obama

(Not that the birth certificate matters. Let's face it, if you believed he was a Kenyan Muslim who was unfit for office because he's a darkie or some shit, chances are you were completely immune to facts before, and you'll probably remain so. I also doubt that the release of the birth certificate will hurt Corsi's book sales, because let's face it, Corsi's target audience is the terminally delusional and the fact-immune, but hey, I can dream, huh?)
fierynotes: Picture of Destruction, from the Sandman series, reading a book and slinging a guitar. (Default)
Someone put a lot of time into this, and clearly enjoyed every minute of it.

fierynotes: Picture of Arsenal, from DC comics, looking very pissed off. (violent)
Dear 50 Cent,

I'm over twenty-five, and I eat pussy. Having said that, I just saw one of your tweets and I think you're a scumbag. But that's okay. I've always thought you were a hundred different kinds of scumbag; you've merely demonstrated yourself to be yet one more. I think the suicide rate among LGBTQetc people is too high already, especially lately, and you clearly think it's a good thing, complete with a little "LOL" at the end, because you clearly think this is one big joke.

Blow me, you fucking poser.

Sincerely,
[personal profile] fierynotes

PS: Your grammar, language, and spelling are a fucking crime in and of themselves. What the fuck did the English language ever do to you?

(Many thanks to [personal profile] crowdog66, who saw it before I did and led me to search for it.)

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fierynotes: Picture of Destruction, from the Sandman series, reading a book and slinging a guitar. (Default)
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