Some people think I don't care about football. That's simply not true. When certain teams play, I'll shout as loud as any other fan if they're doing well. With this in mind, here are a few of the teams I root for.
Whichever team is playing against Penn State. "Wah, we love our coach, we can't stand that you're persecuting him, we're going to protest and knock over a news van." I kinda want to put a ribbon under the blue shield with the lion on it, and the ribbon can have a latin motto in fancy-shmancy script: fiat justitia ruat ludus.
¹ Well, no, that can't be their motto, yet... but it really fucking needs to be.
Whichever team is playing against the fucking Raiders. The fucking Raiders are kinda local to me. Every time I'm at work and the fucking Raiders play at home, I go home on the train later that day and suddenly I'm surrounded by drunk and belligerent silver-and-blackholes. Most teams encourage their fans to be rowdy. The fucking Raiders encourage their fans to be thugs. (I'm told the Jets are similarly awful, but they aren't local to me so I can't really address this.)
Whichever team is playing against Michael Vick. I am all for giving someone a chance to earn redemption, even if the crimes they've committed are really awful (and crimes don't get much more awful than the shit he's done), but honestly, he hasn't earned redemption so much as he's had redemption handed to him on a silver platter. I know people who've redeemed themselves after a fall -- they had to work for it. He hasn't. Not nearly hard enough.
Whichever team is playing against Ben Roethlisberger. It's possible, in theory, to be falsely accused of sexual assault... once. The odds don't exactly favor it, though, since contrary to popular belief, there isn't an epidemic of women who throw rape allegations around frivolously. When it happens to you twice,
the odds probably aren't worth discussing.
Whichever team is playing against Tim Tebow. What can I say? I'm a lefty, and he's a forced-birther and an evangelical Christian. I'm all for Christians living by their own values, but when they start judging my values -- and yes, even a godless heathen like myself has values! -- I become annoyed.
Whichever team is playing with
Scott Fujita. What can I say? I'm a lefty, and he's vocally pro-choice, pro-gay rights, and pro-environment.
whichever team is playing with
Clay Matthews. What can I say? I'm a long-haired guy who started out skinny and worked my ass off to put on weight. So is he... though admittedly for a very different value of "skinny." I just hope he doesn't turn out to be a total vick later.
- "Let there be justice even if the school falls." The original quote is fiat justicia ruat caelum, which is "let there be justice even if the sky falls."