fierynotes: Picture of Destruction, from the Sandman series, reading a book and slinging a guitar. (Default)
This is my front page. If you want me to add you, drop me a line here. Or, add me. Either way, I'll check you out. You can also drop me a line here if, for instance, you don't have my email address. All comments here are screened.

This post also includes every tag I have -- this is because my current LJ style doesn't include a tag index. (At least half of my participation on LJ is on my phone. I chose this style because, as bare-bones as it is, it loads quickly and it's still readable on a small screen.)

I'd tell you more about myself, but that's what my profile -- and the rest of my LJ -- is for.
fierynotes: Picture of Discord. (discord)
About five years ago, the Mormon Church spent over twenty million dollars in my state in an effort to ban same sex marriage. A lot of this money came from out of state, i.e. from Utah. At the time, I said some harsh things about the people in my state who supported the ban, as well as some harsh things about Utah. "Taking a giant shit on my state's constitution" might have been one of the phrases I used.

And now, those horrible ebil gay people are getting married in the Mormon Church's own backyard. I realize that for some members of this church, it feels like your world is ending, so some tact and delicacy is called for here.

With that in mind, SUCK IT, JOSEPH SMITH! I hope Hell came into existence just long enough to welcome you in, and I hope it involves elements of the theater scenes from A Clockwork Orange, as well as lots of gay porn.

Sorry. That was mean. Have some pie.
fierynotes: Picture of Arsenal, from DC comics, who clearly sees something he likes. (leers)
See this movie (NSFW!)?

It's aimed at the straight porn-addicted market. The sequel will be aimed at the gay male porn-addicted market. It will include a character named "Phil-'im-up Robertson," and the first scene will show him saying offensive things about gay people, but a few hours later he'll be thinking of hot guys and vigorously massaging his own prostate with a duck call. In at least one subsequent scene, he'll take two dicks in his ass at once. Two dicks and a duck call, if he's really ambitious.

Now, I should point out that I'm straight (mostly), and that my interest in porn is minimal -- a lingering side-effect of having done web design work in that field. That said, if this porno ever comes out for real, I will buy it.
fierynotes: Picture of Hotstreak, from the cartoon Static Shock.  He looks annoyed. (annoyed)
So, Orson Scott Card has released a statement lately, about that movie coming out.

" Ender’s Game is set more than a century in the future and has nothing to do with political issues that did not exist when the book was written in 1984.

"With the recent Supreme Court ruling, the gay marriage issue becomes moot. The Full Faith and Credit clause of the Constitution will, sooner or later, give legal force in every state to any marriage contract recognized by any other state.

"Now it will be interesting to see whether the victorious proponents of gay marriage will show tolerance toward those who disagreed with them when the issue was still in dispute."


"Tolerance," eh? I wonder what he means by "tolerance?"

"Laws against homosexual behavior should remain on the books, not to be indiscriminately enforced against anyone who happens to be caught violating them, but to be used when necessary to send a clear message that those who flagrantly violate society's regulation of sexual behavior cannot be permitted to remain as acceptable, equal citizens within that society. The goal of the polity is not to put homosexuals in jail. The goal is to discourage people from engaging in homosexual practices in the first place, and, when they nevertheless proceed in their homosexual behavior, to encourage them to do so discreetly, so as not to shake the confidence of the community in the polity's ability to provide rules for safe, stable, dependable marriage and family relationships."


Okay, if that's the level of "tolerance" he's asking for, I find I can live with that. I can be far more magnanimous than that, really! With that in mind...

Go eat a dick, Orson. I'll consider seeing your movie when you're dead and therefore can't funnel your profits from it into promoting hateful causes.
fierynotes: Picture of Hotstreak, from the cartoon Static Shock.  He looks annoyed. (annoyed)
So, I hear Angelina Jolie has had some surgery.

I would love to get all unrighteously indignant and shit, but... I can't be arsed. Y'see I have this shocking and controversial belief that each person's body belongs to them, and to them alone. It's why I'm pro-choice with respect to abortion. It's why I object to laws against drugs like marijuana. It's why I feel people shouldn't feel pressured to get things like botox or face lifts, and it's also why I support anyone who actually does. It's why I feel I shouldn't have to justify my gym habits to anyone, and paradoxically, it's also why I don't think fat people should have to justify their lack of gym habits to anyone. Aaaand, it's why I'm not getting all upset over Angelina Jolie's surgery.

Getting truly upset about it is really only possible if you're a douchebro who thinks that Angelina Jolie had an obligation to keep her breast tissue to you, the red-blooded male cinema going public, and that this obligation trumps any health risks she may have faced if she kept it. Don't be that douchebro.
fierynotes: Picture of Arsenal, from DC comics, looking very pissed off. (violent)
So, if you haven't heard -- and holy crap, will some of you be hearing more about this! -- a promising football player was falsely accused of rape, spent five years locked away, spent five more years with an electronic bracelet being told "I'm sorry, the position's already been filled" after job interviews (if his job applications even got that far -- most of them probably did not) and was recently exonerated. During this time, the alleged rape victim's family sued the school where it happened, on the grounds that there would have been no rape if the school had taken steps to ensure the safety of its students, and won a seven-figure settlement.

You can't see it, but I'm groaning already, because I know what's going to happen next.

In certain circles, a bunch of people (mostly angry bitter men) will start howling for this woman's blood. They will take a moment to pretend to have some compassion for the football player, and then move on to their real targets: the accuser and her mom. They're going to wax lyrical about how all successful societies put harsh restrictions on female sexuality and how we're failing as a society because women are free to fuck whoever they want. Then they're going to claim that this case is a perfect example of bitches being unable to take responsibility for their own actions and would rather ruin an innocent man's life than admit to consensual sex and risk facing consequences for it. (Note that it takes no small feat of mental gymnastics to be capable of making both of these claims at once. Don't try it yourself unless you're already an accomplished bullshit gymnast -- you'll sprain something.)

After having spent years complaining that women are out to take the occasional rape as evidence that all men are rapists, and how unfair it is to judge all men based on the actions of a few... they'll claim that this one case is a reflection on all women. (Again, don't try this feat of mental gymnastics on your own.) They'll claim that nearly all rape accusations are fabrications. They'll point at the $1.5 million settlement and claim that all women are money-grubbing whores because hypergamy hypergamy hypergamy¹, and no doubt they'll shriek with alarm that women have figured out how to make tons of money ruining a man's life without even having to marry him!

Turning away from those assholes for a moment... a human being was falsely accused of a felony. His life was overturned by it, and several years of his life were stolen from him. I am not arguing that he wasn't the victim of a serious injustice -- he very clearly was. We, as a society, owe him for that, and there are conversations worth having about that. But these conversations would be just as important if the human being in question were imprisoned over false murder accusations, or a bank robbery he didn't commit. And certain denizens of certain slime pits aren't interested in having those conversations, except when it's rape.

Grr. Don't mind me. I'm partly pissed because one of my favorite online haunts has been remarkably free of slime-pitters until very recently.



    1. Hypergamy refers to a women marrying above her own station. When real scientists use the term, it's often in reference to cultures or groups in which marriage is arranged, and can be fairly applied to, say, women marrying into greater privilege under India's caste system, or a marquess marrying a duke (which usually has political implications far beyond the coupling).

      When the term comes up in slime pits, it's shorthand for "women are wired by evolution to look for good providers for their future children, ergo it's a scientific fact that all women are money-grubbing gold-digging cunts."

fierynotes: Picture of Hotstreak, from the cartoon Static Shock.  He looks annoyed. (annoyed)
Gawker is such a time sink.

So, there's this show called Mad Men. It's supposed to be really good, and people rave about it being "period," where the clothes are vintage, and everybody smokes, and the writers are really blunt about period sexism. Seriously, that's all I know about it, other than the smokin' hot redhead with the curves from hell.

Oh, and there's a new season starting soon. I know this because one of the stars went out, photos were taken, and the internet is talking about how big his penis is. I seem to recall that similar buzzing came out with certain guys in other movies... didn't the internet go crazy over Superman's crotch when at least one Superman movie came out? Hell, a while back (here on LJ, here on DW, locked because I'm a bit shy), I posted about some band that leaked some cock shots shortly before they put out a new CD. Too bad the music was complete rubbish...

I see a trend. In a few years, whenever a new movie comes out, one of the leading men will "accidentally" leak a few private photos from his phone. Only if he has a big one, of course. If not, there's allegedly this falsie that was used on the set of the Spartacus: Blood and Sand series, and he can borrow that. Or just go out in public with a strategically placed pair of socks and a press crew.


There are things you talk about before you're married.

Guys, I hate to say this, but the size of your penis is one of them, especially if you're not in the center of the bell curve. If you have a really big one, a lady (or another man, depending on your tastes) has a right to know before they agree to spend the rest of their life (barring divorce) with you. Telling them "surprise, you're gonna get torn in half on a regular basis!" on your wedding night is just bad faith. Granted, there are lots of ways around that, but a little understanding and effort is going to be required by both parties. Likewise, if you have a really little one, hiding it from them until you have a ring on their finger is bad form. Not that sex is impossible with a small penis, but again, a little understanding and effort is going to be required by both parties.

All this applies even if one or both parties doesn't believe in sex before marriage. Communication. It's kinda important.

(I find myself thinking of that one Gilda Radner skit: "...and on their wedding night, the princess found that the prince had an itty... bitty... teeny... tiny... little... bitty... teeny... tiny..." (Bell rings.) "Never mind!" You can find that skit here, though not by Gilda, sadly.)


Perez Hilton has a new fashion accessory kid. I feel so sorry for the guy. the kid, I mean. Why did Perez Hilton have to have a kid? Did he run out of beaches to do handstands on? Wasn't the world better off without that twit having decided to spawn? Oh, and look, he posted photos!

If this were anyone else, I wouldn't bother to pay attention. Lots of people post dozens of baby photos when they have kids. Since this is Perez Hilton, however, I have this barely-controllable urge to doodle crude things all over his photos. And judging from the comments in that article, I'm not alone. Fair is fair, innit?

In a few of those photos, Perez Hilton is scantily clad. Again, normally I wouldn't bother to pay attention, but this is Perez Hilton. So... you know that one guy in the gym? Yeah, that guy. The one with the absolutely amazing upper body, who's all look-at-me-look-at-me-look-at-me with a shirt that he's hacked so much of the sides and front and back out of that it covers his navel and almost nothing else, and if he moves near a fan, you can even see that? Isn't that annoying? Well I get the same vibe off Perez Hilton in some of those photos. "Look at me, I have a chest now!"

(The previous comments maaaaay be slightly biased on the grounds that I think he's a scumbag. Perez Hilton, I mean, not that exhibitionist musclehead. That exhibitionist musclehead is merely annoying.)
fierynotes: Picture of Gilgamesh Wulfenbach, from Girl Genius.  He looks tired. (tired)
(None of these links actually contain porn, but I still wouldn't click them at work.)

First, a whole bunch of women in porn, with and without makeup. While there are a few who are covering up some rather worrying conditions, for the most part they look like, well, any other woman you'd meet on the street, in a grocery store, at the DMV, or anywhere else. If you care to point out that any one of the women (or men) around you could be in porn and you'd never know it, that's a fair observation. (I've sold at least three cameras to people who were going to film themselves professionally, and at the time, they all looked like everyday people. Some very interesting and fun conversations came with each of these sales...) If you care to point out that such widespread use of makeup implies some troubling things about our beauty standards, that's also a fair observation.

Second, a little over a month ago, this guy in porn killed himself. By all accounts, he was a good guy, loved as well as lusted after, and worked as a chemical engineer before getting into porn, which is to say that he had a brain and could have stayed in a nice "respectable" job but chose to go into porn because he genuinely enjoyed it. Looks, brains, a fulfilling career... and yet, depression hurt him just as much as it hurts some of the rest of us. (I found out about this guy because I've been trying to be more honest with my friends about how I occasionally have to fight off the urge to off myself. Then, one of them saw that this porn star he liked had killed himself, remembered that I fight depression occasionally... and has been worrying about me entirely too much.)

Finally, another suicide, this one shedding light on how marriage equality is actually a serious issue. (I found this one by accident, by googling "gay porn suicide" because I didn't remember Arpad Miklos' name. It illustrates that a porn actor is still a normal human being, though, so I'm including it in this post.)

(Suicide among performers is, sadly, not all that rare. Unfortunately, the best link I can dig up at the moment is Pink Cross Foundation, a faith-based organization which seems to hate performers -- ahem, sorry, they don't hate the sinners, they just hate the sin -- until they either quit or die, at which point they become heroic survivors or tragic victims. Google it if you're interested; I refuse to give them hits.)
fierynotes: Picture of Hotstreak, from the cartoon Static Shock.  He looks annoyed. (annoyed)
So, there's this app that will estimate a guy's penis size from his foot size. Except it was made for WebOS, which was developed by Palm, which HP bought (and has done rather little with). Neither HP nor Palm made this app, and only 84 people have actually paid money for it, at just under a buck each. There's a free version, which a little over two thousand people have bothered to download -- unsurprising, since as far as I can tell, HP hasn't put out a new device that runs on WebOS for over a year and a half. With me so far?

The name of this app that checks chubbies is a little unfortunate, as it's clearly a reference to a guy who's made a name for himself with one song, and released it several times with slight variations -- he's sorta like a black and rotund AC/DC that way. Clearly, a massive and important musical legacy is being shit on here. Anyway, he's suing HP. Not Magic Apps, the company that released the chubby-checking app. HP.

For half a billion dollars.

Either he's never heard of Streisand Effect, or he is really desperate for headlines. Or maybe he's come to hate doing "The Twist" so much that he wants to be remembered for something -- ANYTHING! -- else. (I'd believe that, actually. I imagine Tony Bennett must be sick of leaving his heart in San Francisco, too.)
fierynotes: Picture of Arsenal, from DC comics, looking very pissed off. (violent)
Dear Chris Culliver,

Gay players should stay in the closet ten years after retiring from football? REALLY?

I realize that it's too much to hope that Chris Kluwe kicks you in the nuts, but I hope that several of your team-mates are gay, I hope that they all admire the hell out of your ass, I hope they all tell you so after they're not playing with you anymore, and I hope that this happens soon.

Sincerely,
[personal profile] fierynotes

PS: The title is partly in jest. The rest of the 49ers are apparently much better than Culliver on this issue.
fierynotes: Picture of Discord. (discord)
See this article?

More to the point, see the picture at the top of it?

I made that! It shows signs of my lack of proper tools and everything: notice that the original background is very light grey and textured, but there are rectangular blocks of pure white after the words "tiny" and "penis." You'll find those on my original, too. Those of you sitting at notebooks, if you don't see what I'm talking about, either stand up or tilt the screen toward your lap -- you'll see it much more easily that way. This failure of craft on my part is partly because I don't have Photoshop, and I did the whole thing in ten minutes with the free paint program that comes with Windows.

Now granted, I probably should be irked that it was cropped and used without attribution, but I'm really not. I made that image hoping it would spread -- I can't really be all that annoyed that it has. Besides, if I ever achieve any measure of fame, I hope I achieve it for much better work than this.

(I'll skip the actual content of the article for now. Right now, I'm just gloating.)
fierynotes: Picture of Gilgamesh Wulfenbach, from Girl Genius.  He looks tired. (tired)
“The last straw for God before He brought the flood was when they started writing wedding songs to homosexual marriage and Jesus said that you’ll know the end times because it will be like the days of Noah. There’s never been a time in the history of the world since before the flood when homosexual marriage has been open and celebrated, and that’s another sign that I believe that we’re close to the end."

So sayeth Scott Lively, whose other claims to fame include meeting with Uganda over "the Gay Agenda," and then trying to act surprised when laws come out of it that include the death penalty for being gay.

But yeah. Gay marriage caused The Great Flood.

I was born in the wrong decade to properly appreciate them, but I thnk I'll blast The Who anyway. It's the most appropriate music I can think of, as I doubt any Gay Men's Chorus anywhere has done a version of "Goin' to the Chapel" or anything like that. (Googles, grins evilly.) Oh, wait...! And while I'm at it, another song about rain, this one from my own decade...



In more cheerful news, Chris Kluwe, the football player who is confident in his heterosexuality and equally confident that gay marriage won't turn straight preacher-men into lustful cockmonsters, was on Colbert. And the phrase "lustful cockmonster" goes into even wider circulation. I approve.



Over the past few months, I've send this (and other singing devil puppet videos like it) to friends on their birthdays (when I remembered, and to be frank, I'm kinda bad at that and I'm sorry if I missed you). So, lately, I caught a cold, and one of them remembered!

fierynotes: Picture of Discord. (discord)
Certain passwords and PINs are very predictable, depending on the person. Myself, I have to exercise some restraint to refrain from using 3141, 2718, or 1618 as PINs -- sure, they're easy to remember, but anyone who knows I was a math nerd in High School can guess these. In vaguely related news, I'd guess that one of the WBC douchewhistles has just lately learned that "godhatesfags" is too easy a password to guess. It seems that @DearShirley isn't feeling herself at the moment...

(I've gone back through the twitter feed in question to about December 1. It appears that up until lately, this really was a WBC twitter feed. Or, to put it another way, it looks like this is a personal prank on Shirley Phelps, as opposed to a media prank on all of us. Anyway, Anonymous has declared war on them, which will no doubt be very fun to watch.)

So far, the prankster who did this doesn't appear to have done much with the feed after having successfully stolen it. Personally, if I'd done this hack, I would be scouring the internet for pictures of ladies kissing other ladies and dudes kissing other dudes to tweetpic, and I'm sure that the internet would eagerly supply them and has only been waiting for the day I'd ask for those kinds of photos. And videos. And more videos.
fierynotes: Picture of Arsenal, from DC comics, looking very pissed off. (violent)
Dear lefty cranks,

There is a time and a place for sharing your delusion that banning guns will make people stop misusing them, because surely a would-be lunatic who has no respect for the law with respect to killing people will obey the law with respect to obtaining guns, and surely those laws will make guns harder to obtain (those laws work so well for drugs, after all). "A few hours after some lunatic shoots up a school" is not one of those times. Please shut the hell up and stop using the dead to score cheap talking points... assholes.

Sincerely,
[personal profile] fierynotes



Dear righty cranks,

There is a time and a place for sharing your delusion that arming everyone else will result in just one dead lunatic rather than more fatalities, because surely all those other armed people will see several people with guns and instantly recognize which one is the lunatic that needs to be taken down, and surely they won't shoot each other in a panic. "A few hours after some lunatic shoots up a school" is not one of those times. Please shut the hell up and stop using the dead to score cheap talking points... assholes.

Sincerely,
[personal profile] fierynotes
fierynotes: Picture of Arsenal, from DC comics, looking very pissed off. (angry)
Dear Bill-O,

I work in retail (for now), and the Christmas season tends to come with a lot more irritating customers. I'm surrounded by awful Christmas music at work, most of which isn't exactly shy about what a fabulous guy Jesus was. (Seriously, lots of stores are trying to be more respectful of cultural diversity by not putting up lights... but by playing Christmas music nonstop? How does that even work?) And many of the people who will be getting gifts from me will have to wait until mid-to-late January, when I'll be a bit less broke and a bit more able to shop. (At least this year's cookie-pocalypse went well...)

I promise you, there is no "War on Christmas." If there were, I'd have signed up long ago.

Sincerely,
[personal profile] fierynotes

PS: I actually like Christmas lights when they aren't accompanied by crap music we've all heard a million times. And I have to say there's something funny about pairing them with metal.



Dear Matt Barber,

So you think atheists should be punched in the mouth for participating in the aforementioned "War on Christmas?"

How very Christlike of you.

Please, try. Because I don't believe in turning the other cheek, and I bet I punch a lot harder than you do.

Sincerely,
[personal profile] fierynotes
fierynotes: Picture of Destruction, from the Sandman series, reading a book and slinging a guitar. (Default)
Advocating for humane prison conditions is a hard uphill battle. Here in the US, you have to deal with the assholes who think that anyone who gets thrown into prison deserves whatever happens to them -- indeed, that prison rape is something to laugh about. (The HIV transmission rate in prisons is kinda alarming, and I wish I remembered the actual figure.) It's hard to get people who like the idea that prisons ought to put prisoners to work to realize that if companies are paying less than a buck an hour to prisoners for manufacturers, this takes jobs away from people on the outside... you know, like we complain about all those damned immigrants doing. Combine this with the fact that we do not live in a post-racial culture (and you better believe our prison demographics reflect that), and the attitude that many people have about prisoner welfare often varies between don't-know-don't-care and fuck-'em-they-deserve-it.

Prisoners are human beings, too, and it's hard to get people to realize that. While they are in prison, we should at least provide things like safety from other prisoners, freedom from being exploited for corporate profit, coffee that's actually hot, moisturizer, sufficient butter for his toast, a cell with a nice view, video games...

...wait, WHAT?
fierynotes: Picture of Destruction, from the Sandman series, reading a book and slinging a guitar. (Default)
This election has hooked me on Twitter, which I'd've thought impossible before now. Obviously, I was enjoying #RomneyDeathRally, but watching the right make fools of themselves has been a certain kind of satisfying. Donald Trump, for instance. Ann Coulter is pissed at... Todd Akin, actually. He should have just stepped aside, and he did more damage sinking than he would have making a graceful exit. Much as it pains me to admit it, even just this once, I think Ann Coulter was right. And many others have been a lot of fun to watch.

This election has also made a joy of reading Free Republic, which is a den of extreme right-wing lunacy I normally avoid because it has all the grace and intelligence of YouTube comments and ohnotheydidnt combined. Don't get me wrong, it's still sharp as a bag of cottonballs and crazy as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs, but I kinda want to follow these people around and drop water on them just to watch it sizzle off. Especially today.

Three states have decided that if two people of the same sex want to marry, it's not that big a deal and we should just let them do it. Expect lots of Old White Men with Traditional Values to turn into lustful cockmonsters in those states.

Akin and Mourdock are now out of a job. Pthbthbthbthb! Oh, well. Color me completely unsympathetic -- besides, I hear Operation Rescue is always looking for assholes to bully women as they go into clinics...

And as a small victory, but I still consider it an important one... Nate Silver has been vindicated, his predictions matching the state-by-state results perfectly. Math. It works!

Still, those of us on the left, let's not get complacent. We don't really have a left-leaning president -- we just managed to escape a really horrifying one. The people who respect only old white men are still out there. The people who believe that rape doesn't happen and if it did it's no big dead and the girl probably deserved it anyway are still out there. The people who want to force cherry-picked Christian morals on the rest of us (and often can't be arsed to observe them themselves) are still out there. The people who want to loot this country (or let big corporations do it) are still out there. And they're not going to take this victory as a subtle hint or anything.
fierynotes: Picture of Gilgamesh Wulfenbach, from Girl Genius.  He looks tired. (tired)
Dear Mittens,

All that money pissed away on your behalf, and you're still not in the White House. Pthbthbthbthbthbthb!!!

Sincerely,
[personal profile] fierynotes



Dear Obama,

You're in. Again. Congratulations. Don't get too smug, though -- I voted for you because the opposing ticket was full of pathological liars, sociopaths, and overall shit-roosters. I'm still peeved because four years ago I thought I was voting for a liberal president and didn't get one. Howzabout proving me wrong? You know, since you're on your second and final term, and you've hopefully learned by now that trying to appease the other side will get you not a damned thing?

(I'm being a little naive here, huh?)

Sincerely,
[personal profile] fierynotes

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