So, over at Fleshbot
(NSFW), there's race wank brewing. Short version: some white dude got his ass ripped in half over at it's gonna hurt dot com¹, said "never again" after that, and before long got into an exchange over twitter and showed himself to be racist scum. It comes up in the comments that his views aren't all that uncommon... he's just stupid enough to air them publicly.
As much as it pains me to take this dirtbag's side, even partially...
Let's get the obvious out of the way first. Black people² are entitled to your respect as fellow human beings. They are entitled not to have you throw hateful words at them just because they're black. They are entitled to equal consideration for any job for which they apply. They are entitled not to be dismissed from a job for which they are qualified just because they're black. They are entitled not to be treated more harshly by the criminal justice system just because they're black. Obviously, in our fucked-up culture, they frequently don't get
these things, but they should,
and if you decide to call someone a bigot because they think black people don't deserve all these basic considerations, I won't argue with you. Hell, I'll call them a bigot myself.
What black people (or members of any other given race) are not entitled to is your lust. Or my lust, if the general "you" makes you uncomfortable here. My cock -- and the rest of my body, for that matter -- is my own. It belongs to me, dammit, and I will share it as I damn well please. If I refuse to have sex with black people because I think they're less than human, then yes, I'm a bigot. If I see black people as fully human but don't have sex with them because, for instance, I think pale skin and blue veins are sexy and black people usually lack these features, that is my right.
Obviously, there are some very worthwhile people I'm missing out on, but that's my
problem³, and seriously, don't those worthwhile people deserve to be appreciated by the people they're in bed with? I'm missing out on a lot of worthwhile people by being interested primarily in women, too -- are you going to call me sexist or homophobic for that?
By the same token, and again with great discomfort on my part because I'm having to defend assholes here... if some slovenly shlub with atrocious hygiene decides that he's only interested in women who look like fashion models with breast implants, that is his right.
Of course, it's also the right of any fashion model with breast implants to look at shlubby and say "screw you, I can do better," which means that in practical
terms, the only right shlubby will actually get to exercise will be the right to jerk off at home, frequently and alone. With his own bitter tears for lube, no doubt. Sucks to be him, admittedly, but totally not my problem. (Pthbthbthbthbthbthb
!) Granted, in the real world, shlubby probably treats any women who don't meet his standards (and the women who do, but who insist on having standards of their own) with appalling disrespect, but my (grudging) defense of assholes only goes so far -- when that happens, he needs to be handed his ass, and I'll help do it if necessary.
That distinction between basic respect and lust is important here. Certain obvious exceptions aside (Fred Phelps comes to my mind, but I'm sure you can name your own here), everyone
is entitled to your respect as a human being whether they make you tingly or not. And honestly, if you're only capable of treating someone with respect if they make you tingly, you fail as a human being. All that said, though, you are entitled to get tingly over whoever you please, and let's face it, you probably don't have a hell of a lot of choice over who makes you tingly. And anyone who says or implies that you're a bigot for who you sleep with also
fails as a human being.
- I fully support black people working in porn if they so choose, but the way black men are often used in porn bothers me. Forgetting for a moment that some porn studios are desperate (NSFW: contains modest sausage and much plastic) to spread the message that all black men are very tall on their backs, certain really ugly racial tropes tend to show up a lot.
- Obviously, this entire paragraph applies to other races as well. I'm referring to black people here because that's where this particular wank started.
- This problem of mine is purely hypothetical, by the way. I live in the Bay Area, and my sexual history (with women, at least) is actually pretty diverse. Granted, my sexual history doesn't include black men, but considering that it only includes four men, lots of ethnicities aren't going to be represented in such a small sample.