Remember the cookies I made? They went over really well, so I'm posting the recipe if anyone's interested.
1. 4 tbsp melted butter
2. 4 tbsp canola oil
3. 1 cup sugar
4. 2 eggs
5. One of the following combinations of flavoring and food coloring:
5a. 3 tsp vanilla extract, no food coloring
5b. 3 tsp mint extract, 20 drops green
5c. 4 tsp cardamom powder, 20 drops blue
5d. 3 tsp orange extract, 10 drops red, 10 drops yellow
5e. 4 tsp cinnamon powder, 20 drops red
5f. 3 tsp raspberry flavoring, 10 drops red, 10 drops blue
5g. 3 tsp rum extract, 8 grams instant coffee powder, 10 drops red, 20 drops black (For this one, also add ¼ cup cocoa powder to the dry ingredients.)
6. 3 cups flour
7. 2 tsp baking powder
8. ½ tsp salt
Combine and beat ingredients 1-5 in one bowl. Mix ingredients 6-8 in another. Gently fold the flour mix into the wet mix until you have cookie dough -- and stop right there, because you remember Tako the Octopus
explaining that if you overmix cookie dough, your end product will resemble beef jerky. Put this ball of dough in the freezer for ten minutes, then flatten it into a ¼" thick sheet, and slice into rectangles because you don't have a cookie cutter and round cookies are overrated anyway, and hey, do you really want to take all the dough that was in between all those circles and pound it flat all over again?
Cover a baking sheet with foil, grease the foil, and arrange slices on it. Bake at 350° for eight minutes... fuck. Preheat oven to 350°, and twiddle your thumbs for about ten minutes because you fail at thinking ahead, then pop the cookies in. Eight minutes in, check the cookies. Ignore the explicit directions in the original recipe that said that the cookies will be soft, because surely epicurious can't be trusted -- leave cookies in for two more minutes, and discover for yourself that while they feel "done" when you take them out of the oven, you'll be able to tile your bathroom floor with them by the time they're cooled.
Swear a lot. Alternate between variations of "fuck" and "shit" with unlikely prefixes and suffixes. "Fucking shit fuckity mcshittingfuck!" is one of my favorites. When I'm a bit less angry, I like "fuckadoodle" and "fuckadilly," but those are a little too cutesy for when you're pissed off about having screwed the pooch on a batch.
Think of all your friends who've been putting off visits to the dentist, swear some more, toss out one batch of miniature floor tiles, and start over. This time, remember to preheat the goddamned oven, and bake the cookies for eight minutes -- not one second more, not one second less. Let cool, taste one, and mentally apologize for having doubted epicurious in the first place. After all, you only bake cookies once a year because you want to have a six-pack some day (you vain bastard) -- these people are probably much better at baking than you. Besides, this is epi-fucking-curious, you idiot.
Continue making cookies until you've exhausted a five-pound bag of flour. Then, raid your existing reserves. Congratulate yourself for having had flour on hand in an airtight container that you didn't remember having, and continue making cookies. Get a little ambitious, and place an orange layer of dough on top of a vanilla layer, roll it into a tube, slice into ¼" slices, and bake. Ooh, pretty pinwheels! Aren't you clever! Make more pinwheels with a layer of cinnamon and cardamom. Snicker at how these pinwheels look like little turds before they're baked, then marvel at how good they taste after the cool off. Scarf a few more -- after all, you have to test them and ensure quality, right?
Exhaust the container of flour you've just today remembered, and find another... and feel hope turn to dismay, then disgust, as you find living things in it. Take this as the universe's way of telling you you've baked enough for one day.
Believe me, I had a lot more fun baking these than the above would suggest. Next year, I'm thinking of something a little more challenging. Picture a cream filling sandwich-type cookie like an oreo, but replace the top cookie with a soft chocolate-flavored one, replace the bottom cookie with a soft coffee-and-rum-flavored one, and replace the cream filling with sugar whipped into mascarpone. That will take planning, as I'm sure the shelf-life of these cookies will be measurable in hours, but the idea sounds like it could be amazing
if I can pull it off.Edited to add:
I've since done the tiramisu cookies. I've added two extra lines to the recipe to indicate how.