fierynotes: Picture of Destruction, from the Sandman series, reading a book and slinging a guitar. (Default)
This is my front page. If you want me to add you, drop me a line here. Or, add me. Either way, I'll check you out. You can also drop me a line here if, for instance, you don't have my email address. All comments here are screened.

This post also includes every tag I have -- this is because my current LJ style doesn't include a tag index. (At least half of my participation on LJ is on my phone. I chose this style because, as bare-bones as it is, it loads quickly and it's still readable on a small screen.)

I'd tell you more about myself, but that's what my profile -- and the rest of my LJ -- is for.
fierynotes: Picture of Tarvek, from Girl Genius, facepalming. (facepalm)
I will not write slashfic starring Melissa McEwan and Paul Elam.
I will not write slashfic starring Melissa McEwan and Paul Elam.
I will not write slashfic starring Melissa McEwan and Paul Elam.

(Sits on hands.)

...I will not write slashfic starring Melissa McEwan and Paul Elam.
I will not write slashfic starring Melissa McEwan and Paul Elam.
I will not write slashfic starring Melissa McEwan and Paul Elam.
I will not write slashfic starring Melissa McEwan and Paul Elam.
I will not write slashfic starring Melissa McEwan and Paul Elam.
I will not write slashfic starring Melissa McEwan and Paul Elam.
I will not write slashfic starring Melissa McEwan and Paul Elam.

(Twitches nervously.)

Dammit, I don't have time to write it. I mean, yes, I could easily the dirty talk between them, as they try to one-up each other in how much "donation" money they can get from their suckers. Paul would brag about getting money from some guy on unemployment, Lis would brag about getting money from someone who's down to $5 of child support money...

No.

I will not write slashfic starring Melissa McEwan and Paul Elam.
I will not write slashfic starring Melissa McEwan and Paul Elam.
I will not write slashfic starring Melissa McEwan and Paul Elam.
I will not write slashfic starring Melissa McEwan and Paul Elam.
I will not write slashfic...
fierynotes: Picture of a black sockpuppet. (footsie)
So, there's this study that's making the rounds about women prefering larger penises. And the article alludes to past studies that show women have preferences with respect to male body shape as well (tall and trapezoidal). Good news for guys who are tall, hung, and trapezoidal, right?

First, I'd like to get into the limitations of that study. Forgetting for a moment the limitations of any study with only 105 subjects... all it did was have women looking at images. "Women enjoy looking at larger penises" is a reasonable conclusion from that. "Women have greater initial attraction to men with larger penises" is also a reasonable conclusion. "Women enjoy sex more when the man has a larger penis" can be sorta kinda inferred from this study, but any scientist with a brain would want to do a separate study¹ rather than cite this one before making that conclusion. All we really have from this experiment is "women like looking at big ones" -- and considering what we already know about sexual selection in humans, this ain't a new revelation. (We seriously outclass all other primates with respect to penis size, and we probably don't stack up too badly against horses, either, if you account for the huge body weight difference².) One might wonder why this study needed to be done at all.

Or at least, that's what I thought until I read the comments. Wow, this article brought out the assholes. In fact, I think that the real experiment was to publish this study in a widely-read forum, and then count and categorize the responses.

To the guy who referred to this study as "junk science"? That was a bad pun and you should feel bad. I hate you for thinking of it before I did.

To all you guys who are complaining that women look at things and judge you unfairly on purely physical features? If you have ever watched a porno, you can shut the hell up. Women have been complaining about this for years, and you've been ignoring it. Now that the shoe is on the other foot, you start whining?

To all you guys who are yelling about how a man's bank account is the variable that scientists should be looking at? I did a years-long experiment of my own, with a single test subject who is tall (constant), hung (constant)³, trapezoidal (varies over t)... and frequently broke. While there are obviously problems with a study using a sample size of one... my anecdata experimental data does not support your conclusions. But hey, as long as you get to shout some more about how women are gold-diggers by nature...!

And finally, to the commenter named Velvet? Assuming you're for real, and not either a very subtle troll, or a social scientist trying to gauge commenter responses to certain stimuli... you're being far too nice. Especially since some of the replies you're getting have been really rude, and you're still being nice. You're never going to get their approval. And more to the point, you don't need their approval.



    1. And can you imagine what that study would look like? I have several ideas of what that kind of study would look like, and most of them would result in a laboratory looking like a porno set. Using human men of various sizes is problematic, because the bigger guys are going to go into the experiment with more confidence that the smaller ones, and that variable is going to be hard to isolate. Using machines with replaceable heads of various sizes has problems as well, since there's a human element to sex that just isn't there if you're using custom jackhammers. The easiest way to do that would be to make a bunch of Gigolo Joes, from the movie AI, and equip them all differently but leave the programming identical... but obviously, our technology isn't there yet.

      While I'm sure a lot of scientists would think a study like this would be a really interesting way to spent grant money, doing a credible study on this would be a lot of hard work. And not "hard" in any of the fun ways.

    2. To verify this, one could take the penile volume of the average human and the average horse (remembering, of course, that a cylinder's volume is its length times its width squared times π/4), and divide them each by the weight of the average human and the average horse, respectively. If you are okay with having questions like "how big is a horse's penis" in your search history, I encourage you to crunch those numbers yourself.

    3. Usual disclaimer that when a guy claims he has a big dick on the internet, he should not expect to be taken at his word.

Dammit!

Aug. 29th, 2012 09:41 am
fierynotes: Picture of Tarvek, from Girl Genius, facepalming. (facepalm)
August 25, for those of you unfamiliar, is Nickolaus Pacione day. And I missed it!

Nickolaus Pacione, or Nicky the Wondergoth as he's also known, is a really awful horror writer. He's also a nasty individual, with virulent homophobia being just one of his awful qualities. Anyway, for those of us who are fond of unnecessary holidays like Talk Like a Pirate Day, August 25 was dedicated to him.

Unfortunately, the Livejournal entry in which this holoiday was first conceived is now locked, and I don't remember how we're supposed to observe this holiday. My first guess is that I should swear a lot, and every sixth word out of my mouth should be "fag." My second guess is that I should call up a couple of, ahem, very close male friends and do things with them that would get Nicky-boy to call me "fag." I think the theory for this latter idea is that enough gay sex happens, Nicky-boy's head will explode à la Scanners.

In either case, however I should have observed that holiday, I missed it. Oh, well. Maybe next year.
fierynotes: Picture of a black sockpuppet. (footsie)
The popular media seems to have forgotten that Chris Brown is an abusive asshole.

The internet, on the other hand, hasn't.
fierynotes: Picture of Arsenal, from DC comics, who clearly sees something he likes. (leers)
Here, a whole bunch of weasels fall in love with one of the main characters. These weasels are supposed to be vicious -- they eat slaver wasps, after all -- but when they find someone they like? Awwwwwww!

This video is dedicated to all the youtube trolls out there. I love it. I want to create a sockpuppet called "WankingGibbon69" and post comments on this video along the lines of "the person who made this video is a total cnut." (Misspelling intentional.)

This clip is amazing, if you'll ignore the fact that for all her brilliance, Vi Hart isn't exactly the best singer. Still, this exploration of music from a mathematical viewpoint is the exact sort of thing I did in High School, except that mine was totally metal. If I'd had the camera, the software, and the internet, way back then, I would very likely have produced stuff like this. (But I would probably have used a guitar myself, because I'm not exactly the best singer either.) Her video on Pythagoras is fun, too. Actually, just watch her whole damned channel.
fierynotes: Picture of Tarvek, from Girl Genius, facepalming. (facepalm)
A friend emailed me a link to this website (kinda NSFW), and I want to have some fun with it. All it needs is a Tardis in the background. Seriously, the guy looks a lot like Matt Smith (though he's likely in much better shape), and the lingerie he's wearing is even Tardis blue!

And then, having added the Tardis in the background, I want to post it on a Doctor Who fansite, make a lot of popcorn, and watch the fireworks. Oh, to have that kind of free time again!

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fierynotes: Picture of Destruction, from the Sandman series, reading a book and slinging a guitar. (Default)
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