fierynotes: Picture of Destruction, from the Sandman series, reading a book and slinging a guitar. (Default)
This is my front page. If you want me to add you, drop me a line here. Or, add me. Either way, I'll check you out. You can also drop me a line here if, for instance, you don't have my email address. All comments here are screened.

This post also includes every tag I have -- this is because my current LJ style doesn't include a tag index. (At least half of my participation on LJ is on my phone. I chose this style because, as bare-bones as it is, it loads quickly and it's still readable on a small screen.)

I'd tell you more about myself, but that's what my profile -- and the rest of my LJ -- is for.
fierynotes: Picture of Arsenal, from DC comics, who clearly sees something he likes. (leers)
Many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] bovil for suggesting that I get into Phineas and Ferb. When I first heard of it, I assumed it would be like most of the other crap on the Disney channel: bland, completely sanitized, and/or too stupid for words.

It seems I've done the show a great injustice in that. I watched a few episodes that were showing in a marathon on the TVs at work, and it's brilliant, and while it is kid-safe, it has lots to appeal to adults, most of which little kids won't necessarily get. One episode included references to five sci-fi movies, going so far as to name the antagonist "Mitch" so that when one of the characters told him to "get away from her," it was also a movie reference. Or there's this episode, which includes a few fun jabs at Twilight.



I will never get caught up, but I plan to have lots of fun trying.
fierynotes: Picture of Arsenal, from DC comics, who clearly sees something he likes. (leers)
"Bello Swain was a geeky dude (who was quite handsome, but didn't know it) who, after dressing in drag, found himself pulled between the attentions of a supernaturally beautiful amber-eyed sparklepire named Edward, and a hot werewolf named Jacob who had muscles, muscles everywhere, and never owned a shirt..."

Ms. Corsetto is absolutely right! This would be much better than Twilight!
fierynotes: Picture of Destruction, from the Sandman series, reading a book and slinging a guitar. (Default)
I went to see Vampires Suck with an ahem-friend. As I bought our tickets, the clerk asked if we wanted anything to eat or drink. I replied by casually wrapping my arm around my date. "No thanks. I brought a snack." The clerk started to inform me that snacks from outside the theater were not allowed, and then noticed that the clerk next to him was snickering. Then, she sorta glared at him, as if trying to project thoughts into his brain. It's a line from a movie. A rather popular one. I'm sure you've heard of it.

Then, we went in to see the movie. My stupid little joke about bringing a snack was more clever than about 95% of the jokes in this movie. My date and I were in the back row, quietly exchanging jokes that we'd have loved to yell out loud. While the lady and I had the back of the theater all to ourselves, there were lots of people in the front, most of whom were laughing their asses off. I can only assume they'd had a lot to drink, and I kinda envied them.

I swear, the high point of this theater experience was the teaser for a showing of Rifftrax with Reefer Madness, and obviously, that had nothing to do with the movie itself. It did remind me, however, that I'd meant to ask around to see how much it would cost to get licenses for Twilight reels, and then reenact them on stage in front of a audience as they yell "asshole" and "slut." Well, no. "Creep" and "doormat," more likely.

The trailer has all the best bits. Watch it, and give the movie a pass. Really, the movie is awful. I wanted to like it, but it was too godsdamned motherfucking stupid for words.
fierynotes: Picture of Destruction, from the Sandman series, reading a book and slinging a guitar. (Default)
...but I loved this when I saw it in [livejournal.com profile] drave117's post on the latest Twatlight movie to come out.

"Bella still isn't a character. Jacob and Edward are still stalkers, emotionally abusive, or both. Forget Team Edward and Team Jacob. I am now officially on Team Vibrator."
fierynotes: Picture of Destruction, from the Sandman series, reading a book and slinging a guitar. (Default)
Stolen from an old friend with a new name...



Honestly, this looks about as subtle and intelligent as a large hammer to the forehead, but a million times funnier. Or at least, it has potential.
fierynotes: Picture of Destruction, from the Sandman series, reading a book and slinging a guitar. (Default)
A friend just sent me an email with a porno parody of Twatlight. I expected it to be this (NSFW!)... and, well, I was wrong.

This is the DVD cover of a gay porno. The cover is no more than PG-rated, but it's still pretty obviously a gay porno cover, so you may not want to click if you're at work. )

Personally, I approve of this. I'm a huge Edward/James shipper, and I think that the movie would have been much better had Edward and James just shared Bella as a snack and then fucked like rabbits. Well, to be honest, I'd have been just as happy if they merely shared a quick hug and went their separate ways, as long as the having-Bella-as-a-snack still happened, but I suppose that technically no longer counts as Edward/James shipping.

Someone needs to send Stephenie Meyer a copy of this movie. I'm sure she's already been told on countless occasions that her vampires suck -- now, she can be shown evidence!

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