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Why am I bothering to write this shit?

Magic Card by spotts1701

This journal started out as an exercise in self-examination. I discovered that my memory, while usually quite good, tends to betray me when I start looking for patterns in my life... so I started writing shit down.

I've since discovered that LiveJournal is very much a social organization, so I started writing more, but my original purpose hasn't changed. Keep this in mind as you read -- this journal is hardly a complete account of my life. It's just the stuff that I think it'll be important to remember later.


So... who the hell am I?

I'm just an oddly-shaped peg surrounded by round holes. Worse, I'm an unrepentant, even proud, oddly-shaped peg. I used to think, as a small child, that I was left here by aliens, and that my parents just gave me the "When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much..." speech as part of a cover-up. (It worked. Sex is a lot more interesting than storks, no matter how entertainingly drunk the stork always seems to be.) At times, I wish I still believed it.

Anyway, here's my LJ. Between my obsessive respect for the confidences of my friends, and my need to tone stuff down for credibility's sake (you would not believe some of the bizarre goings-on in my life), there's a lot I'll be leaving out. When it comes to sex, I'll not only be leaving things out, but I'll be changing little details here and there, mostly to avoid revealing who I'm talking about. We'll see what that leaves.


A Few Warnings...

I am a bit of a hormone case -- my endocrine system thinks I'm sixteen, despite the fact that I'm twice that age. You probably won't find "so there I was, plowing my nine-inch dick into her sopping wet snatch with wild abandon" or any shit like that in my journal (except in jest), but if you're a prude, you might not want to be here. This also applies to the homophobic.

(Yes, I'm straight... mostly. I did experiment in college, though, and even now, I continue to make occasional exceptions. I don't wax poetic about amateur prostate exams or anything, but I won't pretend I don't fuck guys every now and then out of fear of offending you. Having said that, though... it doesn't come up all that often.)

I'm not a bad guy, per se, but I am a loud arrogant prick. If I find I need to bitch about something, I'll try to bitch entertainingly -- this will not make me any less bitchy. If anything, I'll be even more so, since I'll no doubt be trying to play up the bloodthirst for an audience. If it helps to give you an idea of just what a polite individual I'm not, I'm a former member of Godawful Fan Fiction (as Loki) and an occasional member of Fandom Wank (as Footsie, Loki's sock-puppet).

(I have one filter that includes members of GAFF and F_W. If you actually like it when I'm an asshole, I'll include you in that filter, but honestly, I hardly use it any more.)


If you know me in real life...

Be discreet. I have at least one possible stalker in real life, and one author in cyberspace who doesn't like me much, so don't go rattling off where I work, where I live, my real name, or anything else like that.

Oh, and one last thing... my cat has an LJ. It's ologbu, if you're interested.